My Man Billy

There have been alot of celebrity deaths lately, but the one that really saddened the Cap'n was one of his favorites: Billy Mays.

He wasn't a closet pedophile or pin up. He wasn't an awesome sidekick or kung fu master...but he was a master.

Billy was the ultimate pitchman, a symbol of America and Capitalism, and a downright hilarious dude. Make no mistake, he knew EXACTLY who he was and what he was doing. That is what made him so awesome. There were no pretenses, and if you watched the show Pitchmen (with partner Anthony Sullivan) it clearly showed that.

After watching a piece on CNBC the other day about infomercials and their rise, it became rather evident that Billy Mays was good for America.

Well, like everything that WAS good for America, it now seems that his time has passed. After a freak blow to the head, the great one is no longer and so are my beloved Awesome Auger commercials.

R.I.P. Billy and condolences to your family.

-The Cap'n

Does This Look Familiar?

THE 10 PILLARS OF THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO

1. Abolition of property in land and application of all rents of land to public purposes.

As we speak now city, state and the federal government are restricting land usage through large regulatory fees, environmental restrictions, taxation rates, and removal of exemptions, thus rendering land/buildings useless.

2. A heavy progressive or graduated income tax.

Pretty self explanatory with Mr. 52.7%'s camp. His perfect tax rate for the wealthy will be a higher number than the percentage of those who voted for him.

3. Abolition of all rights of inheritance.

All one needs to do is look at estate tax rates to see it is already in play...well except for 2010! That is the year to kick it if you are wealthy.

4. Confiscation of the property of all emigrants and rebels.

They are trying right now as corporations leave to pursue better (i.e. lower tax rates) venues for manufacturing and corporate headquarters overseas.

5. Centralization of credit in the banks of the state, by means of a national bank with state capital and an exclusive monopoly.

Hmmmm....

6. Centralization of the means of communication and transport in the hands of the state.

Fairness doctrine...Cap and Trade...ABC and the infomercial about nothing...

7. Extension of factories and instruments of production owned by the state; the bringing into cultivation of waste lands, and the improvement of the soil generally in accordance with a common plan.

Cap and Trade...GM...Chrysler...etc..

8. Equal obligation of all to work. Establishment of industrial armies, especially for agriculture.

UAW...AFL/CIO...ACORN...whatever is brewing behind the looming National Energy Tax

9. Combination of agriculture with manufacturing industries; gradual abolition of all the distinction between town and country by a more equable distribution of the populace over the country.

There just might be if California, New York and Florida price out their populace...

10. Free education for all children in public schools. Abolition of children's factory labor in its present form. Combination of education with industrial production, etc.

Check..

Hmmm....Democrat = Socialist...sure would seem so by definition of policy. So far, as we have seen in California, it DOES NOT WORK. It is sheer folly to expect it to work on a national level, so I think I figured it out....There can only be ONE plausible explanation:

The Alien Confederation of Planets has decided that the Earth must unite under one voice or we will be left behind to muddle in our own human waste. Therefore, we must destroy the sovereignty of the U.S. in order to suit our galactic purposes.

There you go...its the only thing that made sense to me...Otherwise we are all just a bunch of stupid mofo's who are allowing ourselves to be sold into financial slavery by the Democratic ruling class as they restrict the access to wealth and means of production. That would never happen...never...I think it must be the alien dilemma.

Speaking of Aliens

R.I.P. King of Pop and Jesus Juice..Someone, somewhere, had a sigh of relief yesterday.

Nahh......It was all perfectly natural and you just needed to understand him...tell it to the sealed testimony.

And in closing, a beauty from my friend Gilbert Gottfried. Not for the easily offended, but for those with a hearty sense of humor..Enjoy the weekend

-the Cap'n

Tighten My Belt?

I guess I just don't get it. There is an old saying in management: The queen must not only be virtuous, she must also appear to be. For those liberals out there for whom I've confused let me make it even simpler: You don't lay off parts of your crew, tell your remaining employees to tighten their belts, and then show up the next day in a brand new CL55 Mercedes Benz.

Does that sound familiar? Are you sure? I swear that is what I have seen coming from Mr. 52.7% and company.

I know, I know, before I even get started the howling will begin on the hypocritical Bush administration and the war in Iraq. Big, bad Bush sold us a river of lies on WMD's and it was really about oil.

Was it? Deterrence has kept American soil safe since WWII. From 1993 to 2000 we stood by and allowed 6 separate attacks on U.S. interests starting with the February 26, 1993 WTC basement bombing to the USS Cole attack on October 12, 2000. We all know who was steering the ship back then. Do I need remind anyone what happened less than a year later? Do I also need remind we have had nothing since occur on our soil thanks to our brave men and women.

If a fortress in Mesopotamia, control of another oil supply, and the possibility of democracy in the region are the by products, then sign me up.

Sorry for digressing....As I was saying....

The CEO's of the major car companies were killed in the press for begging for public money as they came in on their private jets.

Execs from AIG and Citi were under threat of public humiliation and possible public retribution when it was learned of lavish bonuses and parties with public money.

Now, in the "most transparent" administration ever we have a man preaching of conservation and corporate responsibility showing his true colors. They are so transparent they won't even disclose the cost of the trip on your dime!

Even better, he used the excuse "I promised my wife...blah...blah..blah.."

Hell, I promised my wife a great anniversary, but I got hit with $3.00 gas, a 50% tax rate, a shrinking GDP, monetization of our debt, and possible nationalized health care. I'll be lucky to afford two Super Sized Extra Value Meals, but hell--have a great night on me!

All that B.S. is for you, not for him. He is above that. This is definitely not a lead by example kind of guy.

I have a new slogan for this administration: Do as I say, not as I do.

Assa lama laken

-The Cap'n