The Second Annual Things I Hate!!!

Without any fanfare, let us begin:

* Roads anywhere in California. All you enviro Nazis have won...it's true. It is easier to take a bicycle or horse and carriage from point A to B in this state. Thank you Jerry Brown and associates in the early 70's for creating this god awful mess you call the California road system. Throw in good 'ole government corruption, and you not only have a steadily aging and decrepit, but inadequate roads system. I'll take the horse please....just what you backward ass progressives wanted.

* MTV....except for the Jersey Shore. I have extensively written how it went from a musical nirvana to bull shit propagandist extension of Viacom. As for Jersey Shore, everyone has to have a little vice here and there....and I hate that J-Wow hasn't shown us her ta-ta's yet.

* White Honda or Toyota minivans or sedans. Anyone who drives them cannot drive worth a crap. Period. End of Story. You suck. Now you will pay attention and know I am right.

* Dancing with the Stars. Other than looking at Cheryl Burke's awesome ass, this show is a total waste of time.

* Progressive Liberals. You are the height of ignorance masquerading as pseudo intellectuals. Please come down to the real world and help in the fight instead of being a pawn to government control. Repeat after me: It's only your fault you didn't take advantage of your opportunities....

* Quirky women who think they are cool. Message to you: You are neither. Quirky is this generations way to excuse immaturity and infantile behavior. Grow up and put away your Strawberry Shortcake folder....Fuck, you are 30 years old already!!!

* Rachel Maddow. Do I really need to explain?

* I hate how the daily newspaper is slipping away into the night.

* I hate the fact my twins are already 20 mos. old...Damn time flies.

* New Style video games. Why do I need twenty buttons on my X Box just to make a pass? What happened to the good old A and B buttons? Keep it simple guys!!!!

* That they moved the Big Bang Theory to Thursday...It was perfect on Monday!

* That once I found out Neil Patrick Harris was gay, I no longer believed his character on How I Met Your Mother. Like the guy, just not that believable now, though...

* Chelsea FC...God I hate the Blues...Stop dominating the EPL!

* San Francisco Giant Fans...Retards..I'd love to have a monopoly on anti-depressants after the Phillie's series is over for these delusional idiots.

* Light Rail. It has done nothing for anyone here in my hometown other than back up traffic for miles while two passengers ride it to and fro. What a colossal waste of taxpayer money and time.

*That I couldn't find any more ways to incorporate more hot women's pictures into my rant!

Well, that was all that came to mind this time..Maybe some you agree with, others you don't. The great part is that I don't care whether you do or not-- it is my list.

Regardless, use your brains, don't settle for the low hanging fruit, and vote in the upcoming elections. it is your duty!

-the Cap'n

Never Forget, Never Forget.....

Take time during that day to remember the Heroes and the Fallen. We have changed for the worse ever since, and I sincerely believe we will find our ass kicking boots once more. Kiss your wife and hug your kids!

-The Cap'n

Dear Liberals.....

Every time you want to say something stupid about the rights of Muslims to erect a mosque at ground zero, take a look at this picture:

Then do some reading on Islamic history and the construction of mosques on conquered territories/places.

Then, kiss my red, white, and blue ass.

Not in my lifetime,

The Cap'n

Check This One Off the List....

Well at least they finally found it.

Now we can try to figure out the whole Social Security card mess.....

-The Cap'n

Ohhhh Mexico....

The Cap'n was talking to the General (my father) the other day, and I heard this brilliant take on the Arizona immigration fiasco:

Let's say you have bought a ticket on Southwest Airlines to take a trip. Your credit card has been charged, you checked in over the Internet, went through TSA, and are now waiting in line.

As you board the plane and get to your seat, you find that it has been occupied by a non paying customer who boarded the plane through the rear entrance after managing to walk through an unguarded entrance from the terminal to the tarmac. (Sort of like Burbank)

This non paying customer refuses to give up their seat. It is not their fault nobody was guarding the entrance to the plane, even though there are certain standardized entrance and exit points.

It is also noted that they have brought four more non payees aboard with them and in doing so, not only have you lost your seat, but four more paying customers have lost theirs also.

They have also brought numerous bags for the overhead bins, so paying customers must check in their baggage or send it on a later flight.

The cabin crew refuses to dismiss these people (even though a few crimes have just been committed), but offers to find "reasonable" accommodations on the plane for you and the others by charging the entire plane $50.00 more per person.

If not, you are just shit out of luck.

Sound Familiar???

I found it to be spot on, and would love to hear a logical counter that does not include "racist" because this model is race/gender neutral.





- the Cap'n

An Early 4th of July Thought....

It seems like everybody is miserable.

This seems to be a universal position. Everybody is bitching and moaning about something. If you are a Communist Lefty you are unhappy with the Right and continued ineptitude and failed policies of your Savior. If you're on the Right, you are incensed about Obama and his trashing of the Constitution and middle finger to Allies like Israel and Great Britain. If you are out of work, you are like 30% of the rest of the country and wondering when benefits will run out and whether a job opening will surface for which you are not over qualified. If you own a business, you are wondering when the government will finally back off and allow you to operate in a "semi" free market economy and not add to the unemployment numbers. If you hate Summer, you are bitching about the heat. If you hate big business, you are bitching about BP and the Gulf fiasco.

If you hate....you get what I mean.

The point I am trying to make is that it seems nobody is happy. At a time when the sun comes up in the East everyday, you can still draw a deep breath, and your children still love you....why is everything so exacerbated and full of intolerance and dare I say hate??

I'll tell you why: Americans took our hands off the wheel and allowed all the mother fuckers in government (Donkeys and Elephants) to sell us out. Factor in an infantile President for the last 20 years (present office holder included) and we have had this recipe for disaster brewing.

The American people have become more concerned with watching Lost or American Idol, then what their Congress has passed or failed to regulate over the last two decades. We have willingly been led to the altar and sacrificed as we were lured in by the Tech Bubble, the Real Estate Bubble, the Mortgage Bubble without ever questioning the fundamentals behind them.

We have no stomach for a protracted conflict in the Middle East because it is not convenient to us--regardless of big picture consequences. We would rather fall for bull shit straw men by complete idiots like Michael Moore, Bill Maher or Sean Hannity than actually study an issue and come up with an informed opinion. (I will not include Jon Stewart in the mix because although I do not agree with his politics, I do not find him an idiot.)

We have allowed our excess to make us insulated from the real world. Mind you, I am a hardcore capitalistic, fiscally conservative but socially liberal Republican. I will tell you from years of business ownership that once you relax, you become the second place finisher. We have relaxed through the Bill Clinton (an era of absolute nothingness), Bush (a lack of fiscal responsibility) and now Obama (to be remembered as our worst president EVER).

In doing so it has left us angry--angry at everything we perceive as different or threatening to our little lifestyles.

That is just plain wrong. We should be angry at ourselves. We the American people allowed this to occur. Nobody else is to blame.

We control our own lives, not the government.

We control our destinies, not some mentally retarded legislator.

We are ultimately the caretakers of this nation.

Whether Left or Right, if you love this country you understand this basic right.....

As we near the 4th of July, we should ask ourselves one question: What would the greatest era of our time have done? When confronted with tyranny, they took it on their shoulders to kick the crap out of everything and anything that came in the way of freedom. No ocean too wide, no mountain too high, no enemy too fierce.

We are still those people, we just forgot it along the course of some very fat years and even fatter legislators who preach discord from the top.

We are still the people that stuck it to the English in the beginning, and never looked back. Period. From Korea to Iraq, we are still the baddest asses on the planet who will kick your ass to the dirt, and then pick you up, dust you off, and help get you back on your feet.

That is who we are.

It is time to honor our forefathers by becoming those people again.

Happy Fourth of July!

-The Cap'n

When MTV was the S#!+...

As the Cap'n was taking a drive into work the other day he had the satellite radio on 80's on 8. I know I'm dating myself, but that was the pop music I grew up with. It is my only musical vice and I enjoy the hell out of it.

As the country is turning to shit with the evolution of Barack Obama's vision of Bolshevism, I am growing increasingly nostalgic. Well, Obama's destruction of America as we know it, getting older, seeing family members die, having friends come down with horrible conditions, etc. etc. etc. is probably an exact description of my feelings of nostalgia....

Anyway...I was singing along to Golden Earring's "Twilight Zone" and started thinking when was the first time I heard this song. Amazingly, it was in 1982 when I was eleven years old. It was also the first time I watched MTV on cable television.

Wow....1982..It actually came back pretty clear. I was with my grandparents in San Francisco at their friend's house in Pacific Heights during the Christmas season. They had stopped by to have a drink and visit, and the family's daughter brought me upstairs to hang out and get out of the way. She was in her late teens, so she was heading out, but turned on MTV and gave me the remote.

Awesome! I'd never even seen cable TV before, and MTV was only talked about on the schoolyards. Hell, we were lucky to be able to watch Friday Night Videos on NBC if Mom and Dad let us stay up, or taped it on the vcr.

Now, I had music videos coming on one after another after another. First one: Golden Earring's Twilight Zone. Truth be told, it was like watching the Holy Grail. I was mesmerized watching all these different videos and cool VJ's from a room in New York.

If we ever got cable television, I would never watch anything else. MTV was the coolest thing I had ever seen.

I also got to thinking how times were just simpler back then. No Internet, XBOX360, 500 channel cable systems, on demand anything for instant gratification, I Phones, etc.

Back then it was just 5 or 6 television stations, your radio, and your friends you hung out with. Maybe an Atari 2600, and if you were lucky a Commodore 64.

Back then our enemies were the Commies. Now it is our self.

Back then it was Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Now it is Avatar.

Back then you read a newspaper. Now you read a blog.

Back then it was records. Now it's mp3's.

Back then my heroes played baseball. Now they wake up every morning and go to work to make sure their family is taken care of.

Back then MTV was the coolest. Now it is my kids.

Stay Strong,

The Cap'n