Time......

"And then one day you find, ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you've missed the starting gun."


-Pink Floyd 1973


Generally, I don't care much for lyrics. Strike that. Generally, I don't care for lyrics or those who try to find too deep a meaning in them. Lyrics have always been an accompaniment for me, just as much a part of the song as the bass, etc. Either they are in tune with the feel of the song, or they stick out as being just not right.


It was the same way with how I lived my life. I had my goals, and everything around it was just white noise. If you were an impediment, or deemed as a roadblock then I removed you from my life.


Many girlfriends met that fate. They wanted more than I was willing to give and would not settle for being number two or three in the pecking order. Same could be said about friends. They became more of a nuisance then a help in most cases, so they were just discarded.


Some probably had it coming, but most did not. All I really cared about at the time was me. My goals, my reputation, my place in this world. That was all that mattered.


Why? Because I hold the belief that to be truly great in anything, you need to be married to it. It must be your all encompassing desire and obsession and you must not compromise that belief.


That belief has not changed. I still believe it to this day. I can back it up with a decade long alcohol tab that would boggle your mind, three trips to the ER and a few longer stays in the hospital from stress related health issues that almost claimed my life twice.


Still, I outran them all. I outran the clingy girlfriends, the hangers on, the fake friends, the bad employees, the scam artists-- all of them.


Except time..


When my wife had our kids, I instantly wished I was 27 and not 37.


I wished for all the time in the world because I wanted to see everything my kids had in store for the upcoming years.

Mind you, I'm not wishing to change how I lived my life. I wouldn't give back any of the experiences over those years (read: hot one night stands /flings /parties /trips...etc). Those aspects all helped shaped my eventual outcome of today, and I dare say I'm a better person for the experiences.


What I am saying though, is everything has it's price and you have to be mature enough to understand that and accept it.

Every morning my son and daughter run around the house looking for their daddy. When they find me, they smile and give me a big hug.

That is what makes my world go round now, and I want to be around it for as long as humanly possible.

I am looking forward to seeing them grow up and grow as individuals, and can't wait to see how they handle success and adversity.


It's a completely new adventure every day, but also one that brings me time to pause and contemplate.....



"Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines."



-The Cap'n